Belize

5 hours by bus from the Guatemalan border, along a road populated by farmers working their land, women carrying huge baskets of market supplies, and frantically waving children sitting astride pet pigs the size of hippos, you come to Belize City.

From here you are 40 minutes by speedboat to the Caribbean cays, Caulker and Ambergris. Two of the many islands sitting on the worlds second largest barrier reef

If Gilligan had ever gone into real estate development, Caye Caulker would have been his Cockle Bay. Brightly painted ramshackle beach hideaways, deserted sandy lots scattered with pieces of fishing boats and palm trees, sandy floored restaurants specialising in lobster and shrimp dishes, diving and snorkeling shops, and salty old sailors propping up bars at 11am in the morning. Whilst, docked between bobbing tiny sailboats and kayaks for hire, are the pride and joy of Belize's "I have an enormously well endowed Miami Vice speedboat packing two insanely powered testosterone filled outboard motors" wealthy ex-pat's

Living side by side with the predominantly Creole population, are Central Americans and Europeans. You can spot the odd retired American by the way they swerve all over the sandy road in their imported rickety golf carts, sending stray dogs running for cover, happy to be out of the rat race for life

For enthusiasts, Belize is one of the worlds premier dive spots. However, if getting around in tight rubber suits isn't your thing, then consider a reef snorkeling trip. For around AUD30 you will see an amazing array of fish, eels of all shapes and sizes, and spectacular coral formations. The highlight of the trip is Shark Ray Alley, where you swim with Nurse sharks and enormous Southern Rays as they glide by, sliding their expansive wings over your body

If you would like to learn to dive and explore the lesser known corners of the reef, Belize is one of the cheapest and most rewarding places in the Caribbean to take a course.

Spend a few days in Caye Caulker, meet some interesting locals and enjoy the great seafood. When you are not out exploring the reef or paddling around the island in a kayak, laze about on the squeaky white beaches with a book, or just sit back at one of the dock bars and enjoy a well earned beer while you watch the sunset on another day in paradise

We managed to find a comfortable bungalow on the beach at the Tropical Paradise Hotel for USD25 a night. However, accommodation is available for as little as USD10 per night. Caye Ambergris, on the other hand, caters to the American tourist resort market, as the prices suggest. Deserving some pampering for my Caribbean birthday experience, we checked in to one of the nicest hotels in Ambergris, Sea Breeze. The hotel offers spacious rooms, a large swimming pool, outdoor bar, and an excellent restaurant. The new owners are adjusting the menu to include Japanese and Thai delicacies as well as the wide variety of seafood already on offer. The room set us back USD 80 per night, as much as our entire accommodation in Guatemala to date. But it was my birthday and as Heather Locklear says, "I'm worth it."

The lookout above the hotel bar offers views worth the price of the stay alone. Hopping in the hammocks, we witnessed one of the most beautiful sunsets the Caribbean has to offer. Swinging back and forth with a birthday cocktail in hand, I fully appreciated we were a million miles from the daily stresses of work. Contemplation over, crazy Canadian babe in tow, I headed to Crazy Canucks reggae bar and partied in my new year.

Aside from water sports, hiring bikes and riding around the island is a great way to spend a few hours. Cross a small river by man-pulling-rope-very-hard-powered ferry to the less populated north island, cycle down a short dirt track - where my days as a BMX bandit came flooding back - and you emerge at the edge of the lapping blue Caribbean. From here it's a leisurely ride across long stretches of white sandy beach at the "real money" end of town.

The north beach plays host to secluded luxurious resort bungalows and private beach villas. I pondered ambitiously over the For Sale sign standing outside one particularly hedonistic abode. Apparently, the former owner wasn't too happy about motoring his 80ft cruiser around all that coral nonsense to moor outside his beach palace. Being the entrepreneurial type, he used a few sticks of dynamite to blast himself a neat little driveway straight through the reef. Unfortunately, the Government didn't see it that way and sent him a bill big enough to clear the Belize national debt. He was last seen paddling a kayak in the direction of Cuba

Not far along the beach we stumbled across Morgans, the setting of the US Temptation Island show.. As we stood outside the Mecca of exotic island resorts, so many touching moments in television history came flooding back. Bambi and Storm as they whispered under a palm tree, probably discussing the effects of global warming. Or the the tender reconciliation between Steve Steroid and girlfriend Ashley "babe, no-one's got buns of steel like you"

While Michelle lay in a hammock I reclined on the bar, stuck salt on my neck, a tequila shot in my belly, and a lime between my teeth. After about 20 minutes I realised no bevy of bikini vixens were going to emerge from the huts and tempt me today. Nonetheless, with the aura of Bambi, Storm, Steve, and Ashley still in the air, I couldn't help but appreciate the truly important things in life. So I told Michelle she had "a smile so beautiful it could almost pass as cosmetically enhanced" and my lick, sip, suck body shots fantasy was forgiven

Peddling across the beach towards town for the last time before we headed back to Guatemala, we waved goodbye to all the things that had made the cays such a special place. The lazy palm trees, the ivory white sands, the aqua blue waters, the hammocks swinging in the breeze, the life size plastic whale and two leaping dolphins spurting water over Jesus as he emerges from the pool outside the pink Johovah's Witness mansion?the what? Anyway, we'd had a beach holiday with a difference we will remember for a long time.

Even if you don't dive, the cays are a great place to try out a few water sports one day, and laze about in the sun doing practically nothing, the next. If you have time, the Belize mainland is worth exploring for it's wide range of adventure and eco-tourism options. Hiking, mountain biking, visiting the Jaguar Preserve, fishing, canoeing, cave tubing, and further south at Placentia, Belize's premier Caribbean beaches are all within easy reach of one another.

Not many beach destinations can offer you as many exciting options as Belize. The Belizeans say it best, "Discover Belize and let the adventures begin."